Quarter-Life – Is it really a crisis??

I see people talking a lot about quarter-life crisis…how uncertainites have plagued this so-called-beautiful stage of life. My thoughts on this were prompted by a blog-post from a person I admire, respect and love for that awesomeness she exudes!

We think life’s a mess! Oh yes..it is…and it was, even before your quarter-life started! That ‘life’s a mess’ feeling is because we feel a sudden urge to straighten-out things, overnight! Come on people…we’re spoilt kids (well..nearly!), and it did not happen overnight right? So, it’s not right to expect things to turn in to a bed of roses in a jiffy! We’re not yet there, but we’re steadily heading towards that point. Not all people are the same; some people achieve perfection earlier than others. All we can do us look up to them, and look down upon ourselves. And this feeling…blame it on quarter-life crisis!!

There are so many things you can’t undo! But you could have never undone those ‘things’ whenever it is. They’ve happened; live with it; you’re in the middle of it! Life’s so full of if only’s and I wish’s. We have infinite things in life to regret for. And now, in this crucial stage of life, we hesitate to make decisions….blame it on quarter-life crisis!! And what’s gonna happen next? We’ll be regretting all that we did (or did not do!) in this part of life, and we’d call that as mid-life crisis!

It’s time we stop going along with the crowd, but look again. You are in a crowd…just that it’s a different crowd. There’s a lot of learning and unlearning, a lot to adjust and adapt to. The people who you thought belonged to your ‘crowd’ are no longer there, and there’s a time when you suddenly realize that old friends belong to the new crowd that you’re in!! Yes…they are as confused as you are, but not necessarily about the same things!! Go and speak up to them. For all you know you might be mutual mentors! We don’t have the hearts to approach them with the same levels of comfort, and we blame it on quarter-life crisis!!

Life’s nothing but the art of making calculated compromises, and your job, is in no way an exception. It’s an amazing opportunity; you’re experienced, and you’re not ripe-experienced. You can either choose to move ‘up’ in the line that you were in so far, or choose to laterally move to some other profile. Do this two years before, and it’s an immature decision. Do this two years later, and you have loads of responsibilities to shoulder. Well, if you are looking to take a decision, the time is now! It’s crossroads: we have choices. The flip-side of choice is confusion! We view only that side…and blame it on quarter-life crisis!

This quarter-life time is what I like to call as ‘intellectual adolescence!’ It’s the same feeling…uncertainities, jealousy, aspirations without knowing if it’s realistic or unrealistic, an urge to flaunt your achievements, all these in an intellectual plane. We’ve already had the first-hand experience of life! So our decisions will be more calculated. It’s an experimental phase, yet we can’t afford to fail. One small faltering and it’s enough to pull our moods down for quite some time..quite longer than expected. It’s too late by the time we realized it was never too late when we thought it was late!

Relationships…This is one space where I cannot negate! But again, it’s a change; and change is something that we abhor at this time;: it again comes back to adjusting and adapting. Things that were once topics of disgust evolved to topics of discussion and now they mean just another thing. This is a time when we’re done with most of what we need to suffer in this space. Strange thoughts wake up when we go to bed. But the best part is it does not interfere with our day’s life; we’ve got better things to worry about! Simply put, it’s an age when a guy who’s alone at home will think of sleeping rather than watching porn.

This quarter-life is the time when we start getting our own identity. That ‘son of’ and ‘daughter of’ tags slowly disappear, and there’s a set of people who identify your parents because of you. Yes, the generation gap between you and your parents is wider than what it would have been between your parents and your grandparents. However, there are instances that break these generation gaps and you can feel like an adult, just like your parents, and still be kids to them. This is a time when your friends have their own families.

The society criticizes your decisions, but still respects them. They say because they have to say something. The world pulls you down but expects you to achieve. Yes, we’re still in a race…and winning matters, but not right now! We need to be in it to win it; and we never know when we’ll get those afterburners to speed things up. We just need to be ready when good things do happen!!

This time’s a roller-coaster ride of our life; life’s not that peaceful anymore. There are a lot of twists and turns. There are times we scream, sometimes for pleasure, sometimes for fun. Tears roll down our eyes, sometimes out of terror, sometimes out of excessive laughter. What looks like a steep fall may actually end up in a sudden uphill ride. We just can’t control things. There might be times when we can’t help but puke!! (Yuck I know!) But all things will come to a stop, and irrespective of all those things that happened, we’ll still be in a position to say: “Whoa! That was one helluva ride!! “…and we know that we can never enjoy it again!!

We’re in the worst yet best of our times!! Let’s enjoy this so-called crisis!!! 🙂 We still have better things in the future to worry about!

(And after reading all this, if you still thing “What crap?” then maybe you aren’t totally out of that ‘crisis-zone’ yet! )